Dear 11-year-old me,
I
am going to have to be blunt with you in this because, despite what I know you
think, you are not the coolest person on earth. Let’s start with attire: sorry, but wearing
two different colored Crocs in order to perfectly correlate with your
double-layered polos will never be cute. Shocking, I know. Also, try to avoid
the “rebel” stage you will soon enter, mostly due to the fact that your
definition of rebel focuses on wearing a different DELiA*s graphic tee everyday
with your lime green Nike dunks. I realize you adore those shoes, but I also
know the main reason you like them remains the fact the Chandler Pisczak
complimented you on them. Speaking of Chandler, just because he decided to
dress as Mario character for Halloween the same year you did does not mean he is in love with you. I
am just preventing your future heartbreak here. The truth hurts. Also, the fact
that Rory Gilbert gave you grape flavored Bubble Tape for your birthday does
not mean he is the perfect boy who knows your favorite gum flavor, it means he
forgot your birthday. I know all this seems pretty crazy, but I promise these
are the things you will look back on and regret. Honestly, I could go on for hours criticizing
your current lifestyle, but I will spare you and move onto advice time. First
off, involve yourself in the world. Pay attention to the events and people
surrounding you. Not things like how
Nick Jonas’ hair looked on a particular day, things that truly excite you and
will one day benefit you. Also, try to start veering back to Katherine or some variation of it. Although Roo will make for a clever Twitter name, you will eventually find yourself in the middle of an existential crisis as you try to decide what your name will be when you go to college in five months. But mostly, keep reading. Even if you just have time
for a few pages each day, read them. You will thank me and J.K. Rowling one day. Oh, by the way, I hate to say it but your Hogwarts letter will not come during your 12th year on this planet, but you never give up hope. The owl just went on a seven year detour, I am positive. And finally, good luck. You will turn out alright in the end.
Best
Wishes,
18-year-old
you
P.S. Do not get a MySpace.
I cannot help but notice the contradictory character you describe when criticizing your 11 year old self. I usually do not associate Harry Potter fanatics with obsessions over Nick Jonas as rebels but I suppose you may have provided the exception. Your advice to return to the name Katherine upsets me because I cannot envision you as anything other than Roo. Accept the fact that college profs may not call you by your childhood nickname but encourage your friends to refer to you as Roo because that name exhibits the fun personality you have.
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